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申请美国大学法学院个人陈述范文!

上传时间:2021-04-23浏览量:228

摘要:在美国留学的申请准备中,个人陈述是决定每个人能否成功申请的重要因素。托普仕老师整理了申请美国大学法学院个人陈述范文,准备申请的同学一起看一看。

  申请美国大学法学院个人陈述范文

  个人文书范例1(J.D.)

  请注意:这位申请者的GPA为3.7,LSAT分数为172分,并被众多顶尖法学院(包括哥伦比亚大学法学院、芝加哥大学法学院、纽约大学法学院等——NYU为其最终选择)录取。

  Eighteen months ago, I was sitting at my computer, wedged between a dripping coffee maker to my left and the company’s CFO five feet to my right. Every keystroke shook the flimsy fold-out card table that served as my desk, on loan to the company from another employee’s garage. We were packed in the largest of three rooms in a 2,500 square foot space baking in the heat generated by ten co-workers in close quarters, fifteen running computers, and an abnormally warm summer. On the glass doorway was etched the ghostly lettering of the former company occupying the space, serving as a grim reminder of the ever-present possibility of failure.

  18个月前,我坐在电脑前,左边是一台咖啡机,右边五英尺处是公司的CFO,十分拥挤。每一次敲击键盘都震颤着我那脆弱的、从公司里另外一个员工车库里借来的折页桌。我们拥挤在2500平方英尺场地中三间屋子中最大的一间里,被十名挤挤挨挨的同事、十五台运行中的电脑和热的出奇的夏天蒸烤着。玻璃门上诡异地刻着的是前一个占据我们房间的公司的名字,仿佛在令人讨厌地暗示着失败的可能永远存在。

  Two weeks earlier, I had been in my company’s small conference room sitting at the table surrounded by familiar faces from my last employer. Silicon Valley is incestuous: teams migrate from one company to the next, so I was not surprised to find myself recruited to join my old boss’s newest project. They were selling another David versus Goliath story, featuring a small rag-tag team of engineers defeating a seemingly insurmountable industry leader. Despite my skepticism, I still had a free-running imagination fed with nostalgic thoughts of Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard working on their first audio oscillator in a Palo Alto garage. But at my last start-up company, we had challenged a corporation for a piece of the industry pie, and nine years and $330 million dollars later, the company was a hollow shell doing mostly engineering contractor work. I was lucky enough to join that company late in the game and sell my stock options early, but many others spent a significant portion of their career at a company that came close to glory but ultimately fell short: Goliath 1, David 0.

  两周之前,我坐在公司的小会议室中,周围尽是熟人——我上一任雇主手下的员工。硅谷就是这样血脉亲近——团队经常集体地从一个公司跳槽到另一家,所以我被我以前老板的新项目所招募加入并不意外。他们在兜售另外一个大卫对战戈利亚斯的故事,试图以一群贫贱的工程师团队打败一个几乎无敌的产业领袖。尽管我有所怀疑,但是我仍旧被BillHewlett和Dave Packard在PaloAlto车库里制造第一台声音振荡器的故事所感染,怀有对未来广阔天地的憧憬。但是在上一个白手起家的公司里,我们试图去抢下一个公司口中的一块产业蛋糕,但是耗时九年、斥资3.3亿美元后,我们的公司却仅成为一个只做些工程承包的空壳公司。我很幸运我加入很晚并且早早卖出了手中的股票期权,但是其他人却在职业生涯中极其宝贵的一段时间呆在了这个最终也未有辉煌成就的公司。这个回合,大卫输给了戈利亚斯。

  This time they were telling me it was going to be different; they were always saying this time would be different. I asked them how a small, poorly funded start-up company could go against a giant corporation, which was also the undisputed king of our market, with nearly $400 million in quarterly revenue. After signing a non-disclosure agreement, I was let in on the big secret, the meaning of the “C” in the company name: we were going to use recent innovations in carbon nano-tubes to revolutionize the industry. These nano-scopic cylindrical fibers that allow unparalleled circuit density would be David’s tiny, secret sling.

  这次,他们告诉我一切将会不一样——他们总是说这次会是不一样。我问他们,一个筚路蓝缕的公司如何对抗一个市场地位无可撼动、季度收入接近4亿美元的产业巨鳄。在我签下一份保密协议后,公司名称中“C”的秘密终于被揭晓——我们将会应用碳纳米管的最新创新技术来掀起全产业的革命。这些纳米级别的圆柱纤维可以容纳前所未有的电路密度,这会成为大卫的制胜法宝。

  With the financial incentive of stock options and the confidence gained by working with a crack technical team, everyone was working at full capacity. There were scribbled drawings with names and dates taped up on a wall. These were the jotted ideas from our team of electrical engineers and physicists with M.S. and Ph.D. degrees from schools like Harvard, Stanford, and M.I.T. One posting was my recent workings of a carbon nano-tube electro-mechanical configuration bit, an idea that a co-worker and I had developed that I would write up and the company would push through the patent process. By packing a dozen well-caffeinated physics and electronics geniuses into a pathetic three-room rental that resembled a low-budget movie studio, we had created the primordial soup of intellectual invention. As a result of our collective ideas, our seasoned team, our innovative ideas, and nano-technology being the latest buzzword in investment, we were soon funded by venture capitalists for $10 million. It was immensely exciting to be the tenth employee in a growing start-up company that would have to upgrade offices and dramatically expand staff in an up-scaling war against the industry titan.

  在股票期权的经济激励下,还有和一群最好的技术团队一起工作所激发的自信中,每个人都不遗余力地工作着。墙上有许多胶带粘着的胡乱涂画,附有姓名和日期。这是我们团队中从哈佛、斯坦佛、麻省理工等学校拿到硕士和博士学位的工程师和物理学家们所摘记下来的想法。其中一幅是我最近关于碳纳米管电子机械配置的研究成果的,我和一个同事决定由我来详细撰写之,公司来推进专利进程。一打被咖啡因所激励的物理和电子天才们拥挤在一个寒酸的、类似一个低预算电影工作室的三房租间里,我们创造了智力发明的“原生汤”。鉴于我们共同的想法、干练的队伍、创新的点子和纳米在投资界的热词效应,风险投资者们随即为我们提供了一千万美元的资助。成为一个即将升级办公设施、大幅扩建团队并向行业巨头发起挑战的创业公司的第十名员工,这无疑是激动人心的。

  The increased design responsibility and unbounded architectural creativity that comes with working for a start-up is unparalleled. However, the necessity of side-stepping patented intellectual property belonging to our competitor, which covered all aspects of our design, from manufacturing to testing, placed a heavy burden on the design team. This danger was extremely real, as a similar start-up had collapsed following an infringement lawsuit related to unauthorized reproduction of a bit stream. As the designer of three different components, I examined our competition’s sixteen patents related to the memory aspect of the device. It was immensely satisfying to study, absorb, and then circumvent patent claims as I designed a conceptually similar but un-patented version of three memory blocks.

  为创业公司工作所附带的增加的设计责任和无限的人工创造力是无可比拟的。但是,绕过我们竞争对手拥有专利权的智力财产是设计团队身上的沉重负担,特别是这些智力成果涵盖了我们从生产到测试的全过程的设计的全方面。这风险及其严重,因为一个相似的创业公司曾因关于未授权复制的码流的侵权诉讼而轰然倒塌。作为三项不同零组件的设计者,我仔细研究了我们竞争对手的16项关于设备内存的专利。这项学习、理解之后规避专利争议的工作使我及其满足,因为我设计出了三项极其类似却又未曾被专利注册过的内存块。

  I am interested in serving as general counsel for a corporation focused on advanced semiconductor technology. My diverse work experience and master’s degree provide a perfect foundation to tackle the issues faced by a general counsel. I am drawn to the challenges I will find at the intersection of intellectual property, product liability, and corporate law. At this juncture in my life, I seek more challenge and personal growth in a field that calls on my written skills, attention to detail, and love of technology. My background in nano-technology will bring a unique perspective to the NYU classroom and will make me extremely marketable upon graduation. By pursuing a law degree, I intend to enter a profession that aligns with the interests and aptitudes I have discovered and developed through real work experience. It is through deep personal reflection that I have decided that law is the natural extension of my training, personality, and talents.

  我希望成为致力于高端半导体科技公司的总法律顾问。我多元化的工作经历和硕士学位为解决作为总法律顾问将要面对的问题打下了坚实基础。我专注于来自于知识产权、产品责任和公司法交叉领域的专业挑战。在我人生的这个节点上,我希望在一个能提高写作水平、细节专注度和对技术的热爱的领域里得到更多自我成长。我的纳米技术背景将会为纽约大学带来一个独特视角,并将使我在毕业时为市场所青睐。我希望获得一个法律学位,为的是进入一个和我一直在实际工作中探索而萌生的兴趣和培养的资质相链接的职业。经过深思熟虑,我认为法律才是我的教育、个性和天赋的自然延伸。

  评析

  优点:

  这是一篇优秀的个人陈述,因为它展现了申请者对组织或者全球经济的切实具体的影响力。文章通过对故事背景、冲突以及解决策略的描述,叙述了一个有意义的故事,引人入胜。读者同时可以借此一窥硅谷初创企业神秘传奇的世界。这篇范文对于毕业很久但是没有律所工作经验的申请人是一个很好的蓝本。该范文以个人事业目标为重点,以其职业经历作为职称。这个申请人是一个践行者而非空想家。他充分展现了自己的技术知识以及强大的分析说理技巧而非简单的直线思考,特别体现在文章对于当他发现了解决技术问题的途径,而没有违反专利规定的描写中。其他公司极力争取去雇佣这名申请人以及风险投资家们乐意为他提供大量资金支持,申请人已经远远地摆脱了大学的安全网,并且有所成就。这篇陈述让招生委员会非常想录取这名申请人。

  申请人通过令人叹服的陈述,展示了其较强的书面沟通能力。该陈述应用了广告(Logos)、感伤因素(pathos)、道德本质(ethos)、虚拟故事(mythos)。当他谈及投资于其智力潜能的大量资金以及他运用其分析能力维持公司的运作而其他相同公司失败的时候,申请人运用广告证明了他的卓越;当他描述在拥挤的办公室里“智力发明的原始汤”(primordial soup of intellectual invention)时,他稍微提及了感伤因素。当他描述类比时,他把自己新办的企业和行业领导比作侏儒与巨人。同时,用感伤因素和虚拟故事创造了很好的效果。 这个故事人人皆知,作者仅仅点到为止,用了另一个有力的故事而没有耗费宝贵的篇幅。这个虚构故事成为了贯穿全文的主题。在读者观念中将候选人和领导者之间建立联系是一种修辞手段,这以他富有同情心的道德本质而闻名。由此,读者也会形成一个观点,申请人是一个权威、称职、有思想、诚实的领导者。

  缺点:

  这篇文章太过注重故事细节,而没有为说明申请者是法学院合适人选提供支撑。但幸运的是,因为真实的故事能够使许多人产生共鸣,所以故事本身还是很有力的。此文以自我阐述为结构,以申请人的职业经历为主题。第一段全部是描述性的内容,这和此人是为何是法学院的合适候选人几乎没有关系。因此,第一段缺少主题或是引导文章的方向的内容。理想的个人陈述的第一段是,读者能在此找到全文的缩影。

  个人陈述的主要部分充分运用了具体的细节和行为动词,这是非常好的因为视觉型学习者能够非常生动地想象办公室的具体形象。到此为止,倒数第二段的内容对招生委员会而言是最具价值的,但是背景介绍对于此段落具有较强说服力非常重要。申请人本还可以通过背景介绍更多地展示其优良品质和个性。例如,他可以提及他是如何利用他的口头交流能力与其设计团队和主管进行交流,这样一来,招生委员会将会知晓他重视口头交际能力把握,这正是他们想要了解的。

  最后一段中申请人进行了总结,同时进行了自我评价和目标阐述。他应当提及其硕士学位的专业方向。此申请人犯了一个通病,只是将申请的学校名字当成了一个符号。其实任何一个法学院都可以替换那个位置。申请人并没有传达出他已经对纽约大学的法律项目进行过检索。在文中并未提及纽约大学法学院在专利权和知识产权法领域是如何的强大;申请人也没有讨论待在纽约市将会如何使得他与东海岸的技术专家们保持联系,从而能够帮助其事业的发展。纽约大学法学院的招生顾问将会很乐意听到申请人与法学院如何成为一个理想组合。申请人需要说服纽约大学招生委员会相信纽约大学对于申请人来说是唯一的最佳选择,而他可以通过说明学院特殊的优势将会帮助实现其目标来达到这种效果。

  范文2

  注意——此申请人基于提供给其的反馈对本文进行了大量的修改。这个样本对于我们在个人陈述中我们应当避免什么提供了宝贵的经验。

  From Ordinary to Honors

  从平凡到荣耀

  Winston Churchill once said, “The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see.” Churchill’s statement is extremely evident in my path toward law school. Appearing to be a typical straight out of undergraduate law school applicant, I bring much more than that to the table. My academic achievements speak for themselves as I graduated with honors in only three years. However my path toward college was not as successful. I attended a competitive private high school and was among the bottom tier of students in my class. Going into my undergraduate studies, I was excited to get to a new place in my life, but did not realize my potential for academic success.

  温斯顿·丘吉尔曾经说过:“你回首看得越远,你向前也会看得越远。”丘吉尔的话在我通往法学院的道路上有着格外清晰的验证。看似是一个典型的申请法学院的本科毕业生,我不仅仅止于此。仅用了3年的时间得以优异的成绩毕业,我的学术成绩说明了一切。我进入了一所竞争激烈的私立高中并且曾经是班级内垫底的学生。因此当步入我的本科学习阶段时,我兴奋于得以踏进人生的新阶段,但未曾意识到我拥有学术成功的潜能。

  My success in high school was marginal at best. I was barely a B student. My first days of high school were rough, leaving my home area to attend a private school where I did not know a single other person. The discomfort I felt translated into a not so great first two years and I only ended up a B student because of a fairly successful senior year.

  我在高中的优势是及其微弱的。我勉强是一个良好生。刚刚开始高中生活的日子是非常艰辛的,背井离乡去到一个私立学校,在那里我不认识任何一个人。这种不自在体现在我高中前两年的不如意,虽然有着相对成功的最后一年,我最终仅得以成为一名良好生。

  I again decided to leave my comfort zone as I attended the University of Southern California (USC), six hundred and fifty miles from home. One of my very first courses was a seemingly meaningless course, titled “University 101: The Student in University.” The course was essentially a welcome to school course, an easy A, and some fair warnings and instructions for surviving the college experience. To most people including myself, this class appeared to be a waste of time. I could not have been more wrong.

  我再次选择走出我的舒适圈,选择进入了距离我家650英里的南加利福尼亚大学。开学最初的几门课程之一是一门看似没有意义的课程:“大学入门:大学里的学生”。这门课程本质上是对我们进入大学课程的欢迎,如何写好论文,以及一些就如何在大学里生存的忠告和指引。对大多数人包括我而言,这门课就是浪费时间。但事实是当下我的这种观点是错误的。

  I quickly began to get very involved in the class, and it became a major factor in my comfort and success at USC. My instructor, Dr. Smith, was a huge part of this. Being the Director of Housing as well as the Director of Student Affairs, Dr. Smith helped me become comfortable on campus and get involved with various activities. He pushed everyone in the class to succeed, and I soon realized it was not about University 101, it was about the rest of our first semester, and our continued success as we went onto our degree.

  我迅速融入了班级生活,并且这成为我能够在南加州大学感到自在和成功的主要因素。我的导师,史密斯先生,是这个因素中极大部分的促成者。作为宿舍主任以及训导主任,史密斯先生让我在校园内感受到自在并参加各种活动。他激励班级里的每个人追求成功,我不久便意识到了这门课不是大学入门,而是关于如何度过我们第一学期的剩余时间以及如何获得接下来的持续成功。

  I realized how poorly I began high school. With that in mind and my new found comfort at USC, I thrived early on. I knew I could succeed, and I had an instructor that cared as a great resource to my success. While other students were struggling to adjust to college life, I was able to relax and easily make it through my first group of classes. I felt as if I was better prepared for college life because of my tough course through high school, and my comfortable introduction to college life.

  我意识到了我是如此糟糕地开始了我的高中生活。我将此铭记于心,加之在南加州大学新发现的自在,使我在大学生活的一开始就进步飞快。我知道我会成功,并且我有一个成为我成功的巨大源泉的导师。当其他学生正在挣扎着适应大学生活时,我已经能够放松下来并且轻而易举地在班内名列前茅。我觉得正是因为高中有难度的课程和在大学生中感受到的自在让我对大学生活进行了更好的准备。

  The College lifestyle seemed to work together with my learning style. Many students get to college, have an abundance of time on their hands and end up wasting all of it. For me it was a relief to have some free time, and I used the time to excel in my class work and still have a great social experience. The more independence I obtained, the better I was able to deal with it.

  大学的生活方式似乎和我的学习方式协作共赢。许多学生进入大学,有大量时间可以自己分配最终却浪费了所有时间。对我而言,有一些自由支配的时间是一件舒心的事儿。我用这些时间投入在功课中并且仍然有着非常棒的社交生活。我越发独立,我越发能够更好地处理这些事情。

  我前期的成功帮助我在3年内完成了学业。我在学校的自在使得我每一个学期能够完成21个学分,同时参与校园活动、在课外兼职并且持续在课业上获得成功。

  My early success has allowed me to push myself as of late in order to graduate in three years. My comfort at school allowed me to take up to 21 credit hours per semester, get involved on campus with activities and part-time jobs, and continue to succeed in my coursework.

  我前期的成功帮助我在3年内完成了学业。我在学校的自在使得我每一个学期能够完成21个学分,同时参与校园活动、在课外兼职并且持续在课业上获得成功。

  I entered my undergraduate studies as someone who struggled in high school, coming into school with only 4 of my 127 required credits completed. Presently, I look forward to graduating with a perfect grade point average in only three years and attending law school to pursue a career as an attorney. I look forward to the challenges ahead, and am finally realizing my full potential for success.

  我进入大学学习正如有人在高中挣扎,因为高中要求修满必修课127学分,我只有4分。目前我希望,我可以有一个好的平均分在仅剩的三年,进入法学院学习如何作为一名律师。我希望在未来的挑战可以发挥我的潜能,让我收获成功。

  范文2评析

  优点

  这位申请者采用引言来展开他的个人陈述。温斯顿丘吉尔是一个警句大师,他写下了很多让人难忘的引言。出于这个原因,大家都喜欢引用他的话语。这个申请者讲述了他的个人经历――一个长者是怎样影响并改变了他的 一生。题目和引言都是关于那些在岁月的消磨中所发生的重大改变的,题目是“来自最初的荣誉”,表明个人陈述是以时间为线索。引言更是表明申请者会仔细反思他犯下的过错和取得的成就,以便在以后做一个有价值的抉择。而作者的立场是“随着年纪的增长,他会变得越来越有责任。”

  缺点

  这份个人陈述最大的遗憾就是缺少详细例证阐述。这样,读者就失去了继续了解申请者的兴趣。申请者并没有解释他为什么尊敬丘吉尔,也没有说明选择这个引言的特别之处。除 此之外,他也没有详细描述他所申请地这个法学院的特点,更没有说明为何他适合这个学校。读者只是从这个陈述中了解他曾得到了史密斯博士的帮助,对于这个有经验的长者,他并没有更多的描述。另外,没有必要对学习成绩和毕业年限作陈述,因为这些在成绩证明中看到的。

  这篇申请文应建立一个很有价值的切入口,能够具体地阐述为什么这位申请者是一个优秀的法律院校的候选人,但是申请者没有好好把握这个机会。例如,关于导师史密斯博士的叙述缺少一个让人信服的故事。我们知道教授是学院及学生事务科的主任,他告诉同学们“学生是学校的主体”,他鼓励学生们参加各种活动。从这方面看,他不只是表面看起来的一个严肃的学者――尽管他的确在学术研究方面非常严肃。然而,假 如申请者论述了史密斯教授是如何教他们与危险分子抗战,而他又是如何组织专题研讨会讨论了关于动物权利的法律文献,为此,他就向委员会展示了他的学习 热情,领导才能,分析能力和组织能力。在这种情况下,申请者还可以请史密斯教授写一封推荐信来证实事情的真实性以及申请者对于自身的品质和性格特点描述的真实性。

  这篇个人陈述可以引用一个非常有力地引言为这篇文章确立一个主题。但是这篇文章不能拆解引言的修饰力度,申请者要花时间理清楚这个关于他生命和生活目标的引言,让这个引言贯穿于整个文章当中。而申请者所引用的温斯顿丘吉尔的这句名言,“越是回顾历史,越是遇见未来”确实是不合适的。申请者应该考虑一下丘吉尔说这句话时的时代背景,因为这句名言是关于历史的价值,而并非个人生活的价值。 无论怎样,一个狡猾的聪明的申请者是足可以把这个引言的意义融合到生活里的,可以谈一下同时期世界上发生的对他产生重大影响和意义的事件。 例如,如果申请者的祖父母跟第二次世界大战有关联,由此教导他一些生活或法律方面的经验,对他产生了巨大的影响。这个引言就发挥了它独特的魔力。这样的修 辞策略可以让引言充分施展其修辞魔力,优雅地把引言融贯到个人经历上,影响别人或者被人影响。

  最后,这篇文章倾注了太多精力在申请者个人履历的消极方面。例如,太过于关注他高中时期的不太光彩的经历,而这些对于申请法律院校没有直接关系。法 律院校,尤其是那些重点法律院校都希望他们的申请者一直是高水平,高能力者。在个人陈述的最后草案中显示你一直在不断地进步不是一个好的做法,并不提倡。然而,如果把它用在陈述申请者克服曾经遇到的重大困难,则会达到很 棒的效果,比如遇到学习障碍,重大事故或移民到国外,而不仅仅是转学。

  以上就是托普仕小编为大家介绍的申请美国大学法学院个人陈述范文!,更多关于个人陈述的相关问题,欢迎咨询托普仕高端留学,来自美国前30名校的专家顾问,给您更专业更权威的留学指导。(本文部分内容来自网络)

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